I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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