Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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