Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
