we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
