real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
