if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
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i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
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I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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