I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize