Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(831): View more from California

theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it

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(251): View more from Alabama

And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.

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(301): View more from Maryland

so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping

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(303): View more from Colorado

do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?

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(678): View more from Georgia

So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina

(404): View more from Georgia

I'm teaching my cat to play fetch

(678): View more from Georgia

Yep, it's a friday

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(361): View more from Texas

Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?

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(941): View more from Florida

do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?

(727): View more from Florida

Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.

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(260): View more from Indiana

Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan

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