just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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