Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
