He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
