So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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