Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
