I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
