listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just gift wrapped bread.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I forget how to act sober
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