I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
