I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Randomize
