Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
