I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
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