For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
