im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
