they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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