Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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