direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
