My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
