just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize