i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize