im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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