The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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