I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
