I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
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