how can u be prego again
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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