I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
