What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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