; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
