what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
