Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
