i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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