Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
