somebody snuck up and got me drunk
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
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So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
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You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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