oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
