Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
