Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
