I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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