similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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