Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
