One girl and one boy is just not enough.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My ATM looks so different sober.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
