UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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