After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
