At least make sure they are 18
Why
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
