I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
