I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
