took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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