I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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