You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
