Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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