I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
