You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I have post one night stand depression
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
