I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
