11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
