I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
