So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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